Got a frantic call from my Seventh Corps commander last night. He complains that there are gaggles of photographers in China taking pictures of my troops from across the Amnok (the Chinese call it Yalu) River. This is causing some stir among the troops. Why can not the west be happy with the pictures we send them from Pyongyang? All the goodlooking troops are stationed here! Some stringer for Reuters is so hungry for pictures of of my people, he deserves what he gets for snooping around the provinces. Still, it is giving some of the troops quite a complex. Some soldiers have been disciplined for preening in front of mirrors before standing watch. This "turd polishing" is a waste of socialist resources; I mean, have you ever seen Uiju Girls? Can you say "born at the top of the Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down?"
I brought this matter up in the steamroom this morning where I was "taking the cure" and my information minister had the bright idea of shipping some of the capital girls to the Amnok Watch to "put our best face" in front of their cameras. If anything, it might cheer up the Uiju guys, but what about when the camera-clickers go away? He did not think through this very thoroughly.