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Beloved Leader: November 2006

Beloved Leader

On-the-spot whimsy and wisdom from a Benevolent Despot.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Get Them Young

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Thursday, November 16, 2006


Many thanks to the fishmonger Lost Nomad and fraternal socialist noraebang fans worldwide for your outpour of attention to my musical stylings. How does this translate into a metal record? Zinc? Bronze? I have the prerequisite groupies. I would go into the studio and slice a recording, but they are contractual obligated to a Simpsons subcontract.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Born in the DPRK

One of my many readers had found one of my noraebang posts in my archives and asked for the rest of the lyrics to my Springsteen tribute song, Born in the DPRK:

Born down in a farmer's ville
The first slap I took I had to take the chance
To say my piece and to eat my fill
Cuz the rest of my my life, I eat bark and ants

Born in the DPRK
Born in the DPRK
Born in the DPRK
Born in the DPRK

I got in a little hometown jam
And so they put a shovel in my hands
Sent me off to till the land
Gonna be a monaegi man


Got a job at Kimchaek Iron Works
The cadre said I seemed to lack the zeal
I got the shit and they got the perks
How's a peasant supposed to feel?


I had a comrade at Kaesong
Facing the South, we know they're wrong
I'm still here, but he's all gone

Now he's gotta girl in Pyongtaek City
Heard she's pregnant, but she's not pretty.

Down in the shadow of the gulag fence
Wonder if I got a bit of sense
I'm ten years down the road
Nowhere to run, ain't got nowhere to go

I'm a dead-end dissident in the DPRK
Born in the DPRK
I'm a dead man walking in the DPRK
Born in the DPRK

Quite the song, no? Do you think I could make it in Nashwood?

Leftovers Again

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Ah, Summer

Two More Years

If I do not salvo all my missiles by then, I might have the surrender of America in my hands by 2008--if their new national assembly does not clap Bush and his murderous clique in irons sooner. That Nancy Pelosi is quite the ruthless firebrand minx. I bet she is wild in bed.

Sunday, November 05, 2006


Which of you jolly jokers signed me up for this? Am I going to win something?


They are either out of bottles or that was a damned long bus trip with no facilities!

Ha! That was a joke.

Beer is the beverage of farmers. I never touch the stuff, but Marshal Hong is a connoisseur of the frothy barley pop. Blindfolded he can discern Chongdo from Kirin, Najin Lite from Kumgang Draft. What a useless talent.

The Axis powers threaten to strangle my cognac pipeline with their sanctions. I laugh as I behold my strategic reserves; my liver will give out before my liquor cabinet does! I just have to cut off my drinking companions. They can drink beer.