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Beloved Leader: March 2007

Beloved Leader

On-the-spot whimsy and wisdom from a Benevolent Despot.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Get Out of Korea!

You are 55% ready to get out of Korea

Book your departure flight immediately, then keep yourself tanked up on soju until you can get out of the country. It is people like you who see through the curtain of mystic Asian crap and explode unexpectedly. They know they are full of crap and do not need you to point it out to them. Go on and get out before you hurt yourself.

The "Is It Time To Get Out of Korea?" Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

Hat tip to Seoul Man

So it was written for foreigners. We can do better! Can you?

Which describes your Korean Girl situation?
A. Mothers bring their pubescent daughters to you to sire children and receive extra rations.
B. Mothers introduce their daughters to you.
C. Daughters date you on the sly from their disapproving parents.
D. Girls are US$20 or a bottle of Jack Daniels.
E. Girls are US$100; double if the fleet is in.
F. Korean Girls cannot be had; they import whores from underdeveloped countries now.
G. Prostitution is illegal. That fat Alabama chick (with the mustache) is starting to look good.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Time for a Purge

If Western propaganda reports any firing squads active here in the DPRK, it is me having my internet cadre stood up against a wall and shot. The curs have been taking liberties with my blog account Email. They may have been well-meaning advancing the cause of world socialism, but their actions have clogged my inbox with whiny requests for money. They should be sending ME money! And cognac! And a nice pentium laptop...no Vista, please!