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Beloved Leader: January 2007

Beloved Leader

On-the-spot whimsy and wisdom from a Benevolent Despot.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Stop it, you People!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Those Wacky Wonsaniacs

Korean Word of the Month -

- US Forces

"Me Goon."

Okay, you are a goon. Now sign the surrender and get off the peninsula.

Sunday, January 14, 2007


Just exploring leveraging my regime's core competencies vis a vis a major paradigm shift in an ever-changing world market.

I have been reading.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Friday, January 05, 2007

Monkey Business

I recall some years ago when my Father still ruled in person on this Earth, I enjoyed the canape and cocktail routine of the diplomatic community here in the Capital. All the big names of the Non-Aligned Movement (or rather their deputies) would grace our receptions, drink our booze, nod enthusiastically during lectures on the Juche Idealogy, then in the end, leave their orders for machine guns and ammunition with the defense ministry.

At one such reception, a large dark man spoke glowingly of the Soviet aircraft his budding air force was acquiring. When I mentioned that we could supply technical expertise in a mutually agreeable service contract to our socialist brothers, a marshal took me aside and exclaimed that these MIGs were of a model more advanced than ours. Krunchy kimchi, did I turn red! What did these chimps have that the DPRK did not? Okay...oil, diamonds, rubber, and heavy metals are all good answers. The big ape finally consented to a windscreen-washing contract at their training base for a sum of wicker baskets to be named at a future date.

We still do well enough with some of the NAM republics, and will do even better when our factories are powered by cheap, reliable atomic energy. On the other end of the supply chain, our trade representatives proudly bring Juche, socialist fraternity, and ingenuity to the masses afar. Pictured above is one comrade who fielded our new, improved bayonet retention springs.

Latest from the Chosen Soren

Another reason Koreans living abroad should be brought back for occasional refreshing indoctrination. Things like this mess your head.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Korean Word of the Month

Yonmal/Yonsi - Year End/Beginning. A very busy time here, with all the production reports, projections, and receptions to attend. This year, I am handing out some low-end iPod things to favorite attendants and staff (even the sample bottles of cognac I was once so free with are getting scarce). These were pre-loaded with a selection of martial music from the 243 Military Unit Glee Club. I love them during my brisk morning walks (and there is nothing like rough sex to the tune of "There is No Fatherland Without You").