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Beloved Leader: I Would Like to Recycle These

Beloved Leader

On-the-spot whimsy and wisdom from a Benevolent Despot.

Friday, July 15, 2005

I Would Like to Recycle These

They are already recycled from the Canadians. If only the Americans would make nice and surrender to me, I could get some nice Alfa Jets or Mirages to replace all this Chinese and Russian crap I have rusting on my runways. With all that scrap metal, I could have a killer roller coaster built at my new theme park, One Flag over Pyongyang. People from around the world could come see the wonderland which is my capital city and spend their money on the Juche trinkets made by the inexpensive labor of my labor camps productivity centers. Maybe the Americans will even move their embassy up here away from the rude, dirty, crowded southerners.

On second thought, I have not needed an air force for ages...who wants to fly through all that steel headed south from my artillery? The planes are just high-visibility somethings to keep my peasants heartened. I don't need top shelf stuff for that, since the peasants do not know any better. The southern Air Pirates do, so I might as well ground the planes during a war.

After the Big Noses surrender to me, if they offer me their F-16s, I will take them. Then watch the nose queue at my asshole pile up as France, Germany, and Russia vie for contracts. I can expand the internationally acclaimed Wonsan Clambake into a Fishermans' Wharf thing year-round, once I de-mine/de-net the beaches. My staff do not have much of a nose for profit, so what ideas do you have to bring in the tourists? I mean, besides nude or bikini beaches; none of that stuff goes on in MY country unless *I* am in the room.


At 1:35 AM, Blogger comrade_tovarich said...

Dear Beloved Leader,

Take it from a friend that you get a bit capitalistically excessive in your materialistic urges. It is unworthy of someone of your power to publicly pine for the bloody output of exploitation; far better to send spies to remove the secrets of cargo from the world's John Frums, or else go hog wild and grab it in war.

But please consider as well the timelessness of retro chic! Why, look at Comrade Che everywhere, on bags, shirts, and even G-strings. Why, the last big People's Parade we saw here in Japan, you had a biplane or two flying. Man, that's cool! Just thing of all the young comrades to win to the Revolution when they see aloft such two-winged proletarian vanguards!

Proletarianly Yours,



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