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Beloved Leader: C. I. F*cking A!

Beloved Leader

On-the-spot whimsy and wisdom from a Benevolent Despot.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

C. I. F*cking A!

The deputy commander of my Bodyguard Bureau is one of the select few I allow access to the internets. Yesterday, he made a report that my inner circle had been penetrated by that gang of assassins, the American Central Intelligence Agency! First, I suspected he may have been trying to supplant his Boss as Bureau Commander, but I heard him out. He brought up some blogs that were covering the evil genius Karl Rove's persecution and filled me in on the Plame Game the Democratics were playing. Pointing to the pic of some blonde, he exclaimed, "Remember that Czech masseusse that worked for you back in Year '98?"

"She looks different without the moustache."

"Yes, Great Leader! But that is her without a doubt! But she was CIA, not FIS, like they figured!"

(See how the weasel said "they" and not "we?")

"Great Leader, I have begun drafting the State Security Damage Assessment. Most ministers to whom she 'administered' report they fed her smalltalk of the inflated arms and oil imports from China, as you commanded. The only real damage done was her ability to profile members of our leadership. Did she not service the Great Leader, as well?"

Hmmm...damage assessment. I was pissing razor blades for days and this rash keeps coming back...

"Just write the report, General. Your vigilance is recognized."

More on this Kanchop here.

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