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Beloved Leader: Happy Birthday, Daddy

Beloved Leader

On-the-spot whimsy and wisdom from a Benevolent Despot.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Happy Birthday, Daddy

It is a solemn but yet joyous occasion today...it is the birthday of the Great Leader, Comrade Marshall Kim Il-song, Founder of all that is great and good in the Democratic Peoples Republic. In honor of this day, I visited the Songnim Peoples' Patriots' Worker Peasant Red Guard Museum and Tea Shop this morning. The exhibits inspired me. In the tea room, some veterans of the Struggle for Liberation put on a poetry recital for me. Most of the work would be lost on you Anglophone yahoos, but retired Senior Lieutenant Han Nong-dam crafted some prose in English, which greatly impressed me.

My name is Han, and I fly FISHBEDs;
I live on rice and hot buttered fishheads.
I fly for the Third, except when it rains,
Then I plant cabbage and work on the planes.
My favorite hero is the Great Leader Kim;
My barracks is plastered with pictures of Him.
Tall and strong as Neptune's steel Tridents,
and always good for some on-the-spot Guidance.
So, when the puppets encroach...over the "Zee"
Expect them to catch a missile from me.


I was so truly touched that I ordered his grandmother released from the coal mines for light duty in a tractor factory. Such is the benevolence that occurs on this day.

3 Comments:

At 12:06 AM, Blogger darcey said...

A birthday and Time puts you in as one of the top leaders and revolutionaries of the year

 
At 3:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Leader,

Your blog is an absolute inspiration to the oppressed proletarian workers of the world! Too long has the world been denied the truth about the revolutionary paradise in the DPRK! At last, they can look to the beacon of hope and prosperity that shines brightly in the very heart of Asia!

This medium will spread your genius like a case of the clap in the Revolutionary Fleet after a weekend liberty in Bangkok. Ah, the sweet burning sensation of socialism!

I can write no more. I am overcome with joy in the shadow of your greatness! I shall celebrate this wonderful blog with a slightly aged bottle of the finest soju and a steaming bowl of Ka Go Gi--the neighbors will not miss their dog very much, the wretched little beast!

All my best,

Marcus

 
At 9:11 PM, Blogger vasco said...

Dear Leader,

Your blog is fucking hilarious.

Cheers,
ME

 

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