Another Year Older

What a party! Parades, bands, speeches, dancing girls, baby-oil naked Twister games. No fireworks, though. My generals remind me that our Paki Present is the only one we can be reasonably sure will detonate. Boy, did I give them a look. Why could you not just pop one of ours? They were afraid of failure. What good is having nuclear weapons if you never use them? An atomic explosion in the East Sea might be just the thing to reawake Godzilla and send him stomping through Tokyo again...and we'd have deniability. Of course, it would have been bad for the fishing.

Boy, am I bushed. You think it funny that I use that word Bush? As much as my state media talks down the man, I must confess...I love that dude! We are so much alike. Am I not a conservative nationalist? What is more conservative that keeping the same head of state for decades? Do I not encourage worship in the government (as long as it is me and/or Daddy)? Do we both not yearn to overthrow the world governments and plunder their resources? Do we both not cavort in front of a mirror wearing nothing but a cowboy hat and gunbelt?

He has got some wrong ideas about wealth redistribution, though. He lets his country have too much wealth--that is the trouble with having to get elected. Imagine what he could do if he put his fat nation on a diet and sold his wealth of wheat, meat, guns, and technology for foreign capital? What a missed opportunity. He could buy Malta and use it as an unsinkable aircraft carrier in the Med. And use France as a bombing range.

At least he has the right idea about social welfare...do not give handouts to the lazy masses--make them work for it. Too bad he can not starve the unproductive ones or send dissenters to the gulag. Overcoming these obstacles to power make me admire him even more. If we could only trade places.

No card or telegram for my birthday, though.