Props

From Free North Korea:


In all my life, however, and in all my readings, today is a day for my calendar, for this is the day I read most worst column--indeed, the worst thing--I've ever seen in any broadcast medium with an audience of any size. It is something so ignorant, incoherent, demonstrably false, fevered, and poisonous that I could not not finish reading it. Having now read it, and having since hosed out my wastebasket, I can confidently conclude beyond a reasonable doubt and to a mathematical certainty that never, ever has a mind so small lifted its knuckles from the floor of a cage to fling a turd so mighty against a piece of newsprint. Its author is a man so self-evidently stupid that he would have no hope of finding his own ass with the assistance of two hands and one map. It is that bad. He is that stupid.

Why can't MY boys write like that?