Happy Birthday, Daddy
It is a solemn but yet joyous occasion today...it is the birthday of the Great Leader, Comrade Marshall Kim Il-song, Founder of all that is great and good in the Democratic Peoples Republic. In honor of this day, I visited the Songnim Peoples' Patriots' Worker Peasant Red Guard Museum and Tea Shop this morning. The exhibits inspired me. In the tea room, some veterans of the Struggle for Liberation put on a poetry recital for me. Most of the work would be lost on you Anglophone yahoos, but retired Senior Lieutenant Han Nong-dam crafted some prose in English, which greatly impressed me.
My name is Han, and I fly FISHBEDs;
I live on rice and hot buttered fishheads.
I fly for the Third, except when it rains,
Then I plant cabbage and work on the planes.
My favorite hero is the Great Leader Kim;
My barracks is plastered with pictures of Him.
Tall and strong as Neptune's steel Tridents,
and always good for some on-the-spot Guidance.
So, when the puppets encroach...over the "Zee"
Expect them to catch a missile from me.
I was so truly touched that I ordered his grandmother released from the coal mines for light duty in a tractor factory. Such is the benevolence that occurs on this day.