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Beloved Leader: March 2005

Beloved Leader

On-the-spot whimsy and wisdom from a Benevolent Despot.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Capitalist Goons

Franklin Fisher / S&S
Demonstrators outside Osan Air Base, South Korea, on Tuesday protest what they say were shakedowns of local Korean bar owners by U.S. Air Force security police responsible for patrolling the off-base bar district.

From the Stars and Stripes.

OSAN AIR BASE, South Korea — Base officials here have reshuffled the Air Force police team that patrols the off-base bar district amid allegations some of its members shook down Korean bar owners for bribes and sexual favors, officials said.

The airmen raised the threat of having the bars put off-limits to U.S. troops, according to South Korean media reports and a civic group that mounted a protest rally outside the base Tuesday.

Air Force Office of Special Investigations agents are probing the allegations, officials said.

“The investigation is ongoing and may implicate several others,” stated a news release issued Tuesday by U.S. Forces Korea.

The shakedowns reportedly involved 51st Security Forces Squadron airmen assigned to the “town patrol” that patrols the bar district outside the Osan Air Base main gate.

This would never happen in the Democratic Peoples Republic. When the Peoples Army patrols among the masses, the people want to offer them money and sexual favors. No "shakedown" necessary when you are beloved by the masses. It does not hurt to have two kilos of rice and three potatoes in your rucksack while you are patrolling.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Aaron's Back!

The designer of my cool shades is back at a shorter URL.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Korean Word of the Week - March 22

Uju - The universe. Heaven and earth. The Cosmos. Space.

That reminds me...who was the first Korean astronaut?

Yi Chon-il, a Space Ajoshi.

Oh, comrade...that kills me every time! Yi Chon-il is a Korean man's name...and it is also 2001! "Ajoshi" is a guy! Get it? My sides hurt, I laugh so much!


A time when young hearts turn to thoughts of love and duty to the Fatherland.

Our frozen noses warm to the scents of the new season: Kimchi pots buried in the newly thawed ground, farmers hauling their honeypots into the fields, the acrid whiff from a BM-21 launch at the artillery range. Wildflowers return to the slopes of Paekdusan, songbirds flock to my villa windowsill, and Peoples Army vixens start wearing skirts again.

How can I concentrate on my work with all that blooming, chirping, and sashaying going on outside my window?

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Korean Word of the Week

Dong-song Yonae Taejang - "A homosexual Don Juan." Literally, it means "Homosexual Love Four-star General." Ha! "Don't ask, don't tell," they say! Must be what those southern nancy-boys call themselves. I tell you, all of my generals are Number 1 Super-butch manly men. How do I know? They do no close their eyes when I kiss them.

Another Headache

It is bad enough that that the Chocolate She-wolf of the US State Department is now sashaying her way through the polished hallways of world diplomacy. Now they propose this human scum to be their next Ambassador to the Manhatten Monkey House, also known as the UN. He does not even like the UN! He definitely does not like me! It is a good thing my sympathizers in their Congress are sure to shout down his nomination, insisting on someone with a milder, more appeasement-prone temperament. Like that nice Albright lady. Whatever happened to her?

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Crips and Retards

Oscar Night is a depressing time for me, because I know that right-wing-controlled Hollywood would never showcase any of my movies.

KJ at the Ebb and Flow Institute has performed some research into the Academy's love affair with cripples, retards, and gender-benders.


Foxx wins for Ray. Ray is blind.
Swank wins for Million Dollar Baby. She apparently has some physical affliction, and she boxes. This is pretty much pretending to be a guy. As you will see below, it wasn't her first time.
That explains their lack of interest in my work. For instance, Hero of the August 28 Tractor Factory told the rousing tale of a young patriot who inspired his coworkers to meet and exceed their monthly quota, earning a visit from the Great Leader himself. It had drama, it had romance, it had my Daddy...He did not really participate in the filming--we dressed up a big Russian guy in one of Daddy's suits and only filmed him from the rear (non-goiter side)--you could see his greatness reflected in the eyes of the workers. What acting! It was like Daddy was there himself! But no cripples and retards. So no nomination. Bastards.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Why Should I Not Crawl Into the Bottle?

Elections in Afghanistan, graveyard of empires, and Iraq. The Putin-influenced election in Ukraine overturned. Australia and America falling to the warmongers. Egypt allowing political opposition...Lebanon dissolving its pro-Syrian government. Bush calling Chirac a "good cowboy" and Condi Rice in those boots. Rrrroooowlll!

With all that, and those carrion-birds trying to drag us into the Six-Party talks, why should I not spent the night with Mister Hennessey and a bag of squid-flavored peanut crunchies? Those Japs are now putting the squeeze on my shipping, insisting on insurance, so I might just have to release all that seafood to the masses instead of raking in the foreign capital with it. I am hoping that will not give them the strength to rise up and actually call for Egyptian-style democracy or anything. It might be better to just burn the stuff.